Missin the Kinda Not So Long Ago Days

I really don't know when. I really don't know how. I certainly don't know why. But ever since around the age of 12, I've loved pro wrestling.

My first real memory of wrestling came on Monday nights watching Raw - and only 1 per month was live - where there would be one interview promoting the main event at one of 5 Pay Per View Events throughout the year, then some big names would destroy guys with characters that were made to represent nerds or homeless people or whatever they could think of and by the end of the night, some bad guy, known as a heel, did something awful and the night was saved by our hero, known as a face. This face would celebrate in the ring as the cameras faded and thus went my favorite hour of the week.

I was obsessed. This was before the day and age of DVR and while VCR's were around, programmed VCR's weren't. There was no on demand. No internet. You either watched it from 9-10 on USA or you didn't see it. It really was that simple.

Twice a year, mom, dad and I headed to Florida to see my mom's family and this caused quite the issue come Monday night. Grandma didn't have cable. How dare I miss Bret Hart walk down with his greasy hair to that awesome guitar rip in pink tights and then hand his autographed glasses to some unsuspecting kid? How dare I miss Undertaker bring the lights up at the ring? Who would stop the demented Psycho Sid? No matter what, somehow I made it to a TV on that Monday for that hour and answered all those questions.

Wrestling wasn't cool, however. No one really ever admitted to watching it. We all had that friend we talked to about it, but it wasn't something you broadcasted that you were into. I saw it kind of like the being in the band. It wasn't the coolest thing in the world, but you knew lots of cool people that did it. That is until one man forever changed the business by accident.

Steve Austin, who had a so-so career wrestling as Stunning Steve Austin and the Ringmaster, was in the need of a new personality. With his Texas roots, he became one of the biggest heels in wrestling. He was the stereotypical Texas Redneck with a huge attitude and a bigger since of entitlement.

After defeating Jake the Snake Roberts, who was pushing his Christianity at the time, Austin muttered the most famous line in the history of wrestling, literally on a whim and both completely unscripted and completely live.

You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16... Well Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass!

Five months later Austin was battling Bret Hart, right after some kid got a pair of sunglasses that is, and was locked in Bret Hart's famous and surely match ending Sharpshooter, a move that looks like would hurt about as much as laying on a pillow, screaming for his life. Earlier in the match, Austin had been cut open in the forehead (real) and was bleeding pretty badly.

That day and age, that amount of blood was never fake on the mainstream of wrestling. There is no way anyone could have known what would happen when Austin arched his back, just as the camera shows his face, and screamed in pain with blood dripping to the mat. Almost as unforeseeable and random as Austin's famous line a few months before, a new era was born by accident. The heel became the face. The face became the heel.

Austin, still instructed to play the heel over the next few months and Hart, still instructed to play the face, were clearly different after this night. Hart is and was one of the most popular wrestlers ever and Austin was the guy we loved to hate. Hart would come to the ring, talk up the crowd and how much he loved the city - classic good guy stuff - and here comes the boos. And then here comes Austin saying he hates this city and hates every SOB here - classic bad guy stuff - and here comes the cheers.

Austin was then morphed into the role model for all the hard working blue collar workers in the country. He was a good ole southern boy who didn't take crap from anyone. He did what he wanted when he wanted. He drank beer. He poured beer on his boss. He drove a pick up truck into people. He even broke in someones house and beat them up at home. But with the exception of doing these things to heels instead of faces, the "new" Austin really was not much different than the "old" Austin.

Wrestling was now cool and was completely different. Raw was now 2 hours, live every other week, rivaling WCW - which coincidentally for me, came on channel 26, where as Raw was on channel 25, producing a Pay Per View per month but more importantly, cool to watch. Instead of having that one friend, you had circles of friends. Instead of it being like in the band, it was like being on the football team. Anyone who was anyone watched and loved wrestling.

If I was obsessed at 12, I'm not sure what the word would be at 16. There was a new heelface - my term for a guy who like Austin somehow merges into a heel from a face when their character isn't much different then who they were as heel - that went by The Rock and was, and likely forever will be, my favorite wrestler of all time.

This dude always had something to say and you can rest assured no matter what it was, it was hysterical. He had a move where he stood over an opponent, took his elbow pad off, threw his arms back and forth looking like he was impersonating the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, would run over the guy a few times and then right before dropping what is nothing more than a simple elbow to the chest - a move literally every wrestler did almost in every match - would stop to make it the most dramatic - and entertaining - five seconds of the night. Give it a fancy name - The People's Elbow - and you have a revolution.

In reality it was dumber than Hogan's Leg Drop. Worse than Mankind sticking a sock down someone's throat. Looked less painful than the Sharpshooter. Yet, it was amazing. It was the greatest thing I'd ever seen.

And it wasn't just the Rock. There was DX who declared war on WCW. There were constant run ins with Vince McMahon, the evil and rich owner. There were people buried alive. One time someone got thrown into a river, and then pinned IN the river. It literally NEVER stopped.

But then one day, just as magically Austin started it all, wrestling did something it didn't do in quite sometime. Stopped. Austin had too many neck injuries and retired. The Rock, with this good looks, amazing ability to keep a straight face and large physique, went on to movies.

Suddenly the old was new again. The nWo, one of the most popular groups ever from WCW, came to the WWE. Hulk Hogan was brought back. DX was reformed. And it was just the same washed up stuff over and over.

The WWE was now forced with a very radical decision. Do they bring back the era that started it all - an era full of beer drinking, sexual references, blood, head shots, cursing and pretty much 100% hell raising or do you realize that parents are refusing to let their kids watch this and they are the biggest market and the ones with the dollars.

And then came the moment that wrestling finally stopped; wrestling sold out. And for the first time in a while, it wasn't an arena.

From a business stand point, I get it. I bet, financially, WWE is as good as ever. By taking away the head shots, keeping it PG, fining wrestlers in real life for crossing the line with the violence, wrestling is really marketable to families. But there's no Rock. There's no Austin. Kids are in love with John Cena - a guy who stands up for what is right, never backs down from a challenge and is always there to defend our country. There's Rey Mysterio who takes the time to touch forehead to forehead with any kid wearing his mask at ringside. There's one heelface - Randy Orton - but it's pretty much people like me who are wrestling purists and love his talent. But ironically, wrestling is closer to how it was when I was 12 then ever before.

For about 10 years - from the night Austin bled in the Sharpshooter till around 2007, the WWE was in it's golden age. It's hard for me to say "I miss the good ole days" because it's impossible to miss something that we currently have. So I guess what I'm saying is I miss the kinda not so long ago days.

I still watch wrestling every Monday but it certianly doesn't go too much further. In an age with DVR, my DVR is never set to wrestling. If I miss it, eh, who cares. I'll be ok.

NHL Draft Night

JV football plays on Thursday nights and Varsity plays on Friday. The NBA draft was Thursday and the NHL draft was Friday. Just saying.

This year's draft comes from the hockey state, Minnesota. One of the coolest thing the NHL does is rotate the draft around like All Star Games. This surely is better than what other sports do by always having it in the same venue over and over. Getting the same reaction to teams picks like you see in the NFL draft get's boring and old. The NHL gives fans all over North America a chance to go to the NHL draft.

Saying all that, I'm a hockey nut and you couldn't pay me to sit at one of these things. Holy Lord. The draft was in Raleigh a few years back (the Ovechkin draft, actually) and my dad asked if I wanted to go. Yeah, sure dad. And then let's go run a marathon.

To start out, thank the good Lord that once again Versus has decided to not use their own coverage of the draft rather Canada's version of ESPN, TSN's feed. Without too much surprise, there really is no one there and outside of a few notable stories, really has been a pretty boring draft.

Last year, you had Taylor (Hall) or Tyler (Seguin) as the big story. Hall went first to Edmonton sending Seguin number 2 to Boston. That's right, the current champs had the number 2 pick last year. The reason why is simple. Ownage. Phil Kessell, a good player no doubt, was traded to Toronto two seasons before for not one, not two but three first round draft picks. Toronto places no conditional tag on these first round picks, bombs and Boston is guaranteed an NHL ready forward.

Perhaps my favorite part of this complete ownage is what happened this past season. Toronto, tanking (thanks to in part to no first round pick and Kessell having a so so year), sends pending unrestricted free agent and offensively gifted defenseman Tomas Kaberle to Boston in exchange for a first round pick this year. Not Toronto's pick, but Bostons. Yeah, the one waaaaaaaay back in the first round, not the one Toronto earned at 9. Maybe one of the most lopsided trade stories I've heard in a quite sometime.

On to some commentary about the draft...

Immediately I want to start by saying how different this draft is. Last year I could name 4 guys I knew would be drafted high (Hall, Seguin, Cam Fowler and ROY Jeff Skinner). This year I seriously couldn't name a single one. And I love hockey. And know a lot more about it than you. Unless "you" happens to be Brooks. Then I don't.

So we start at the top and once again, you start with Edmonton. The Oilers take triple named Ryan Nugent - Hopkins. I haven't been able to confirm this, but I would like to officially start a rumor that Ryan is the illegitimate love child of Ted and Bernard.

Perhaps my favorite thing thus far about the draft coverage is the tweets running across the screen when players made comments about the draft. Ryan Whitney started the tweeting off with a great one liner.

"Welcome RNH to the Oilers. Now go get my tape."

If was tweet was RN-H instead, I would love probably taken a screen shot of his twitter account and made it my background on the laptop.

I would like to, at this time, rant about my hatred of hyphenated names, triple names and pretty much anyone who uses their middle name when identifying themselves. What is the deal with the hyphen? Can you not make your mind up?

This all started when I worked as teller. Many people would always ask me when making deposits what would happen if I made a keying error by one number and put the funds in another account. How would I know? Great question. Well, you also have to put in the first two letters of the person's last name as extra verification. So if the account is owned by Smith and the account is 123456 and someone with the name Johnson has the account 123457 and I key 123457 accidentally, the SM entered instead of the JO makes the deposit denied.

So here is the common bond of the last two paragraphs. People with hyphenated names caused me to flat out guess what those two letters would be. I mean flat out guess. No matter what, I was wrong. And I'd have to start allllll over again with the deposit.

There was one guy who came by the branch I worked at all the time with a deposit for his wife who had a hyphenated name and while he was awesome, it drove me crazy inside making the deposit. Ironically, I ended up working with her a few months later.

And just to wrap up name chat, my least favorite name of all time is Calgary Flame Curtis Glencross. When you hear it, it seems like it is a triple name, but it's not. His last name is Glencross. So this guy has a FAKE triple name. Can't stand it. I've even called it repulsive at times.

The next big story, in my mind, was at pick seven by the Thrasherless Winnipeg whatevers. Mark Scheifele made history being the first player drafted by the new....drumroll.....Jets. That's right, they also announced that this team would be the Jets. However, there was nothing mentioned about logos. Colors. Nothing.

So this kid gets up, stoked to be drafted seventh in the NHL draft, realizing his dream has come true, just watched 6 other kids run up on stage, shake hands with the commissioner (get your head out of the gutter) and put on a classic NHL sweater and what happens? He get's a freakin generic black and white jersey and hat with the NHL logo. You have to be freakin kidding me. That's the best they could do? Black and white head to toe. It looked like they were drafting from the California Penal League. Yup, that's where Rick Vaughn pitched.

As a Carolina fan, their pick at 12 was very important to me. A few minutes prior, they show this super jersey shore looking Canadian kid with his hair all spiked up wearing a light blue shirt with the top button undone and his tie kinda somewhat tied and I'm thinking holy crap look at this little prick. Turns out this pricks name is Ryan Murphy, the newest member of the Carolina Hurricanes.

I'm not going to break down what I think about the pick because all I could really do is copy and paste what I've read. What I can do is say that the best offensive defensmen in the draft, as I read, going to us (and yes, I can say us. I have the 42 tickets year in and out to prove it) brought a few interesting thoughts to my mind. Our GM Jim Rutherford, who I recently saw getting a massage at a rehab facility, HATES drafting D men in the first round (and this isn't opinion, this is documented) and the Canes need help stopping goals, not scoring them. But one thing I've learned in the close to 15 years the Canes have been here - Rutherford's track record speaks for himself. This time last year we were going "why is he drafting Jeff Skinner? Kid is too small to play." A Calder (ROY) trophy a year later and Rutherford once again looks like a genius.

This pick, like it has been for the last few years, was read by our most legendary player, Ronnie Franchise (By the way, another thing the NHL does better than anyone else with their draft. Let's the team make the picks. A true welcoming to the team. Love it).

But this does bring up another point I would like to make right now. Ron is 6 ft 3 in tall (unless someone thought it would be funny to make him taller or shorter on Wikipedia as a joke that is) which compared to you and I is pretty tall. But I would say this is probably below average for a professional athlete, especially when you consider basketball. But alas, not very tall. This guy has to bend down literally to where he looks like he has just been smacked in the back of the head to get to the microphone. I met Gary Betteman at the NHL All Star game. Dude is short. Maybe he decided where the mic height should be? Just redonkulas.

Another cool thing was the city of Minnesota booing EVERYTHING the Dallas Stars did while at the stand. They also booed the Canadians pick as most of it was in French and started a USA chant. Classic. Made me laugh.

Speaking of that, that guy spoke for like 20 seconds in french and then like 4 seconds in English. I really hope he wasn't relaying bomb codes north of the border. Hate to end that whole largest undefended border in the world record we have going with the Canadians.

Without a doubt the classiest and best thing of the draft was the Rangers letting the late and former member of the Minnesota Wild Derek Boogaard's brother, Aaron, make the pick for the Rangers. Huge standing ovation for him and a good ole "BOOOO" broke out, this time in a good manner, throughout the arena.

I'm ready to drop puck this fall. Can you tell?

NBA Draft Night

Interesting night, thus far, in New York.

Without any surprise and much to the love of conspiracy theorists everywhere, Kyrie the toe Irving was selected by Cleveland at number 1 overall. There's certianly some merit to the conspiracy theory regarding him. It is rather amazing that the year after Cleveland get's LeBroned they end up with the number one pick. While Kyrie certainly seems to be an NBA All Star and a boost to wallets of podiatrists in the Cleveland area, this is nowhere near the biggest warranted conspiracy in sports.

How about in 2005 when the NHL was returning from a lock out and were busy trying to explain why hockey would work on the Outdoor Life Network? The NHL, and rightfully so, did a true lottery for the picks. With all the rule changes in the upcoming season, no one really knew who would be good that year as proved by Carolina and Buffalo meeting in the Eastern conference after being predicted to finish last and next to last, respectively, at the start of the season.

Pittsburgh was the lucky team that year winning the first overall pick. The Penguins at the time were a complete disaster. Not only were they terrible, the Igloo was becoming the Trash Can and the team was ready to move to Kansas City. Luckily, local hockey legend and probably the second best hockey player of all time Super Mario Lemeuix was interested in purchasing the team and would save the team and lead them to the Cup in the next few season.

Well that and their draft pick from that "random" lottery - Sidney Crosby.

And if you want to talk conspiracy in the NBA with Cleveland, how about Cleveland getting the first pick when LeBron was coming to the league. The biggest can't miss since Coke Zero, LeBron not only had mega celebrity MVP written all over him, he came from Ohio.

Of course, both the NHL and NBA use a non traditional draft with the worst teams not guaranteed the first pick. This prevents tanking but promotes silly conspiracies that really are nothing more than coincidence like the three mentioned here.

Other things I've noted tonight is how friendly everyone has been. It's so sweet that teams are drafting for each other and holding hands. When Norris Cole debuts in Miami, maybe he should have Kum By Yah as his entrance music - kinda like each individual hitter does in MLB. He was drafted by Chicago for Minnesota. Then Miami drafted some kid from Bosnia for Minnesota so they could get Cole. Awww. So sweet we are all getting along!

And what is up with all these international players? At first I thought I was maybe a day in the future watching the NHL draft. Of course this in reality has nothing to with the talent across the pond but rather the lack of talent in college basketball this past season. Let's not forget that when everyone was illegally (and probably breaking many rules of their employers) filling out brackets in March, no one could consistently pick a champion. "What a tournament this will be!" the heads at ESPN proclaimed. I get that 10 teams are evenly matched, but when your match up is B minus play, then whatever. I guess the only comment I have is Fran Freschella is going to hold out for more money next year. Holy crap I'm tired of hearing this guy and watching videos of players shot from hand held cameras and streaming from youtube from a Nigerian account who still needs your help with that currency transaction.

My worst move of the night goes to my local Charlotte Bobcats. MJ certainly was magic on the court but the magic he creates as an owner is much larger. Maybe it should be called black magic as he has once again proved that big name athletes are terrible coaches and GMs.

While on that subject, I once heard Charles Barkely, when he wasn't contemplating switching his golf swing to the left side of the ball (which as a lefty golfer, I highly advise), give his opinion why this was the case. Guys let Gretzky, Jordan, Bird and other failures as coaches / owners / GMs went to levels no one could match on their playground of choice in their prime. They just knew they had to put whatever "it" is into gear. That was the way their teams played - just get it to the guy, he will take care of it. Not many Michael Jordans on the Charlotte Bobcats. I certainly don't remember seeing anyone from anywhere near French Lick on the Pacers. Phoenix almost went bankrupt, much less had anything close to 99.

So MJ makes a great trade and sends overrated and overpaid and very common named Steven Jackson away and grabs another top 10 pick. So far so good Black Magic. And you also snag Corey Maggette. Ok, we get it, you like UNC and Duke players. But he's a solid player.

With this pick, clearly addressing a terrible draft decision from the years before, you pass up on to me the biggest need in Charlotte, a scoring point guard and future all star (and maybe rookie of the year) Brandon Knight. And who do you get? A septlingual high pitched version of Mutumbo. This allows Detroit to grab Knight and then, uh oh, here comes number 9. Wait, you still need a point gaurd. Guess we will have to get ole chin hair himself, Kimba Walker.

Drafting whatever the dude from Congo's name is at 7 and having a pick at 9 means you both really wanted him AND you thought the team at 8, Detroit, would grab him. If your plan was Makhtar Ndiaye's twin and a PG, why not get the Knight at 7? With Buckwheat Wallace on Detroit, do you really think they want another big man who can't score?

Of course this all relates to two terrible draft decision. MJ passed up on Rudy I'm not Gay to get Dirty Sanchez himself Adam Morrison. And then he passes up on Brook Lopez when the team CLEARLY needed a big man and you get DJ Augustine. While Augustine is a good player, Ray Felton was on the roster and really didn't need someone like Augustine behind him. And how about Alexis Ajinca. Yeah, he's been a huge help. Guys like Serge Ibaka, George Hill and Mario Chalmers were all around at the time. Of course MJ broke rule one. Never draft a dude with a girls name when someone with the name Serge is around.

And like normal at the NBA draft, the move of the night goes to the Spurs. Want to know why this team is so good? They draft good. Throw the Duncan move out because the only reason they got him was a ping pong ball landed right a season after David Robinson, who signs every autograph with a Bible verse, was out for the year. Gionobli, Parker and many other picks all homegrown Spurs draft picks. What do they do tonight? They get Kawhi Leonard from the Aztecs. This guy can flat out play and enters a perfect situation in San Antonio where they don't need him, but will certianly add depth to one the best franchises in sports over the last 20 years.

My haha moment of the draft goes to the Detroit Pistons drafting Mr. Softie and twin brother of a raptor, Kyle Singler. Look, I get it. The guy is soft but he can hit the step back jump...wait, no he can't. This guy will be a huge NBA bust. In fact, the only thing I can think that is good about him being drafted is the economic impact it will have on US Economy. That's right. I said it. He's so ugly and so awful, no one in Detroit will want to go see him play. Then these guys will get bored and go back to work. They then fix the automotive industry. I guess all that basketball Obama played was in fact part of this master plan - the Singler Stimulas plan.

That's all I got tonight. I'm sure more will come later. Keep coming back. If you must.