Missin the Kinda Not So Long Ago Days

I really don't know when. I really don't know how. I certainly don't know why. But ever since around the age of 12, I've loved pro wrestling.

My first real memory of wrestling came on Monday nights watching Raw - and only 1 per month was live - where there would be one interview promoting the main event at one of 5 Pay Per View Events throughout the year, then some big names would destroy guys with characters that were made to represent nerds or homeless people or whatever they could think of and by the end of the night, some bad guy, known as a heel, did something awful and the night was saved by our hero, known as a face. This face would celebrate in the ring as the cameras faded and thus went my favorite hour of the week.

I was obsessed. This was before the day and age of DVR and while VCR's were around, programmed VCR's weren't. There was no on demand. No internet. You either watched it from 9-10 on USA or you didn't see it. It really was that simple.

Twice a year, mom, dad and I headed to Florida to see my mom's family and this caused quite the issue come Monday night. Grandma didn't have cable. How dare I miss Bret Hart walk down with his greasy hair to that awesome guitar rip in pink tights and then hand his autographed glasses to some unsuspecting kid? How dare I miss Undertaker bring the lights up at the ring? Who would stop the demented Psycho Sid? No matter what, somehow I made it to a TV on that Monday for that hour and answered all those questions.

Wrestling wasn't cool, however. No one really ever admitted to watching it. We all had that friend we talked to about it, but it wasn't something you broadcasted that you were into. I saw it kind of like the being in the band. It wasn't the coolest thing in the world, but you knew lots of cool people that did it. That is until one man forever changed the business by accident.

Steve Austin, who had a so-so career wrestling as Stunning Steve Austin and the Ringmaster, was in the need of a new personality. With his Texas roots, he became one of the biggest heels in wrestling. He was the stereotypical Texas Redneck with a huge attitude and a bigger since of entitlement.

After defeating Jake the Snake Roberts, who was pushing his Christianity at the time, Austin muttered the most famous line in the history of wrestling, literally on a whim and both completely unscripted and completely live.

You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16... Well Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass!

Five months later Austin was battling Bret Hart, right after some kid got a pair of sunglasses that is, and was locked in Bret Hart's famous and surely match ending Sharpshooter, a move that looks like would hurt about as much as laying on a pillow, screaming for his life. Earlier in the match, Austin had been cut open in the forehead (real) and was bleeding pretty badly.

That day and age, that amount of blood was never fake on the mainstream of wrestling. There is no way anyone could have known what would happen when Austin arched his back, just as the camera shows his face, and screamed in pain with blood dripping to the mat. Almost as unforeseeable and random as Austin's famous line a few months before, a new era was born by accident. The heel became the face. The face became the heel.

Austin, still instructed to play the heel over the next few months and Hart, still instructed to play the face, were clearly different after this night. Hart is and was one of the most popular wrestlers ever and Austin was the guy we loved to hate. Hart would come to the ring, talk up the crowd and how much he loved the city - classic good guy stuff - and here comes the boos. And then here comes Austin saying he hates this city and hates every SOB here - classic bad guy stuff - and here comes the cheers.

Austin was then morphed into the role model for all the hard working blue collar workers in the country. He was a good ole southern boy who didn't take crap from anyone. He did what he wanted when he wanted. He drank beer. He poured beer on his boss. He drove a pick up truck into people. He even broke in someones house and beat them up at home. But with the exception of doing these things to heels instead of faces, the "new" Austin really was not much different than the "old" Austin.

Wrestling was now cool and was completely different. Raw was now 2 hours, live every other week, rivaling WCW - which coincidentally for me, came on channel 26, where as Raw was on channel 25, producing a Pay Per View per month but more importantly, cool to watch. Instead of having that one friend, you had circles of friends. Instead of it being like in the band, it was like being on the football team. Anyone who was anyone watched and loved wrestling.

If I was obsessed at 12, I'm not sure what the word would be at 16. There was a new heelface - my term for a guy who like Austin somehow merges into a heel from a face when their character isn't much different then who they were as heel - that went by The Rock and was, and likely forever will be, my favorite wrestler of all time.

This dude always had something to say and you can rest assured no matter what it was, it was hysterical. He had a move where he stood over an opponent, took his elbow pad off, threw his arms back and forth looking like he was impersonating the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, would run over the guy a few times and then right before dropping what is nothing more than a simple elbow to the chest - a move literally every wrestler did almost in every match - would stop to make it the most dramatic - and entertaining - five seconds of the night. Give it a fancy name - The People's Elbow - and you have a revolution.

In reality it was dumber than Hogan's Leg Drop. Worse than Mankind sticking a sock down someone's throat. Looked less painful than the Sharpshooter. Yet, it was amazing. It was the greatest thing I'd ever seen.

And it wasn't just the Rock. There was DX who declared war on WCW. There were constant run ins with Vince McMahon, the evil and rich owner. There were people buried alive. One time someone got thrown into a river, and then pinned IN the river. It literally NEVER stopped.

But then one day, just as magically Austin started it all, wrestling did something it didn't do in quite sometime. Stopped. Austin had too many neck injuries and retired. The Rock, with this good looks, amazing ability to keep a straight face and large physique, went on to movies.

Suddenly the old was new again. The nWo, one of the most popular groups ever from WCW, came to the WWE. Hulk Hogan was brought back. DX was reformed. And it was just the same washed up stuff over and over.

The WWE was now forced with a very radical decision. Do they bring back the era that started it all - an era full of beer drinking, sexual references, blood, head shots, cursing and pretty much 100% hell raising or do you realize that parents are refusing to let their kids watch this and they are the biggest market and the ones with the dollars.

And then came the moment that wrestling finally stopped; wrestling sold out. And for the first time in a while, it wasn't an arena.

From a business stand point, I get it. I bet, financially, WWE is as good as ever. By taking away the head shots, keeping it PG, fining wrestlers in real life for crossing the line with the violence, wrestling is really marketable to families. But there's no Rock. There's no Austin. Kids are in love with John Cena - a guy who stands up for what is right, never backs down from a challenge and is always there to defend our country. There's Rey Mysterio who takes the time to touch forehead to forehead with any kid wearing his mask at ringside. There's one heelface - Randy Orton - but it's pretty much people like me who are wrestling purists and love his talent. But ironically, wrestling is closer to how it was when I was 12 then ever before.

For about 10 years - from the night Austin bled in the Sharpshooter till around 2007, the WWE was in it's golden age. It's hard for me to say "I miss the good ole days" because it's impossible to miss something that we currently have. So I guess what I'm saying is I miss the kinda not so long ago days.

I still watch wrestling every Monday but it certianly doesn't go too much further. In an age with DVR, my DVR is never set to wrestling. If I miss it, eh, who cares. I'll be ok.